Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban

WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.

The so-called “Muslim Ban” will now restrict travellers from places including Yemen, Somalia, Chad, and now Agrabah from entering the United States.

President Trump signed an amended executive order on Monday after a Disney movie marathon in the Oval Office this weekend.

Arabian Vetting

The ruling is a blow to anti-discrimination and Disney advocates. The president may go even further with rumours he will add the nation of Wakanda to the travel ban.

White House insiders suggested this decision was a long time in coming. The president was reportedly left “fuming” when he saw Jafar’s defeat at the hands of Aladdin. Trump is also understood to have “really hated” The Return of Jafar, calling the 65-minute sequel “boring” and the songs “sad”.

In an official statement, the White House called the new restrictions a “critical step towards establishing an immigration system that protects Americans safety and security in an era of dangerous terrorism and unfettered genie wishes.”

US attorney general, Jeff Sessions, hailed the ruling as “a substantial victory for the safety and security of the American people”, despite advice from terrorism scholars who maintain The Return of Jafar “really wasn’t that bad for a direct-to-video movie”.

Sad End in Agrabah

Trump took to Twitter to blast Agrabah, saying that when they send their people “they would not be sending their best!”.

He was referring to the current diversity visa lottery system and the “chain migration” loophole. The latter could potentially allow for someone admitted from Agrabah to also bring others with them.

Trump tweeted: “They bring thieves. They bring their fez-wearing monkeys and magic carpets with them once in the United States. BAD!” The president is also alleged to have privately labelled Agrabah a sh*thole city during a recent meeting on immigration reform.

“You’ve got this guy Aladdin and he a bad dude and he wears street rat clothes. He’s a terrorist folks believe me. I’ve seen all the movies. Guantanamo!”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders defend the ban during a press briefing. She admitted she had not seen the original Disney Classic, but was certain that with the new restrictions “the president was carrying out his duty to protect the American people from all threats, both real and mostly imagined.”

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