Ohio Residents Brace For Approaching Storm of Campaign Ads

OHIO – Residents of Ohio are being told to prepare for a “superstorm” of political campaign advertisement ahead of the 2012 presidential election this week.

With three days until votes are cast, the state is expected to take the brunt of a non stop torrent of political ads after both campaigns decided Ohio is the only state that matters in the race to become president.

Political ads pleading for last-minute support are expected to hit thousands of undecided voters, leaving them even more confused than they were before.

This is not a drill

It’s expected that areas most vulnerable will be ones with televisions and locals have begun taking action against the incoming deluge of broadcast and radio spots, emails, circulars, billboards, and robocalls.

The first ads have already appeared on the nightly news and are making their way to daytime television before gathering in the vicinity of prime time where they will do most damage.

Even experts have been taken by surprised with the ferocity of what they have coined the “superstorm of political bullsh*t”,

Locals are already making plans to evacuate the area to safer non battleground states which are likely to see significantly less political ads.

“All we hear is job creator this and give me more time that,” said Julie Pearlman who did not survive the political storm of 2008 and now expects to vote for an independent candidate.

Reports suggest the grim scenes would be repeated in swing states across the country.

“We’re going to Mississippi until this all dies down,” Mrs Pearlman told reporters.  “Romney has that state wrapped up so it will be a heck of a lot safer.”

State of emergency

The impending storm has been made worse as many residents are with working TVs and so able to view any one of the hundreds of ads are being broadcast daily.

Ohio mayor Michael B. Coleman said at a briefing that unless there was a clear shift in polling numbers, “we’re going to see more campaigning here in the next 48 hours than we’ve seen in the entire year” and called on residents to take precautions when switching channels as “these ads can appear when you least expect them.”

Showing he was taking charge of the situation Coleman promised to working with electricity companies to shut down services to homes until the election was done.

“Rest assured we are looking at every option to keep people of Ohio safe.”

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