WHITE HOUSE – United States President Donald Trump has fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, replacing him with a Bob-omb.
The sacking came via Twitter following Mr Tillerson’s expression of independent thought. He will now be replaced by the walking time bomb.
Mr Trump also named a cardboard cutout of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed being waterboarded as CIA Director.
High class appointment
Speaking outside the White House, Mr Trump said his differences with Mr Tillerson came down to the former Exxon Mobile CEO’s willingness to form common sense based opinions.
“We definitely got on well except when we didn’t agree on something which was all the time,” said the president.
Mr Trump said he “wanted to do something different so we’re going to try winding up this Bob-omb and letting it loose on the international stage.”
Bob-omb, a living mechanical bomb with eyes and feet, said he was looking forward to serving in the White House for as long as it takes him to violently explode suddenly.
The incoming Secretary of State has no previous political experience, spending the past 30 years in the Mushroom Kingdom working for Bowser. Like the president, Bob-omb is unable to form complete sentences.
It’s understood that his explosive nature and complete lack of knowledge in regard to the role he will now be occupying made him a leading pick for the Trump administration.
“I’ve got to know Bob-omb over the past year and we have become great friends,” said a glowing Trump.
“I wind him up and he walks around aimlessly until he suddenly self-destructs in a violent explosion.”
“Bob-omb is going to do very well in my government. Believe me.”
“I hire the best people”
A senior administration official praised Bom-omb for a political rise that occurred almost as quickly as a Scarramucci tenure. Bob-omb has become a favourite with the president, whose ability to walk into any situation and completely blow it up has impressed the White House.
Despite the presidential backing, Bob-omb has faced criticism from Democrats despite being one of the few black appointments to the Trump Administration.
Mario said he was sad to see Bob-omb leave the Mushroom Kingdom but was confident he would be one of Mr Trump’s better cabinet picks.
“Sure we’ve had our differences, but Bom-omb will absolutely bring a level of stability and improved decision-making to the White House that doesn’t currently exist,” said the plumber shortly after reminding everyone “It’s-a me, MARIO!”.
He added: “YIPPEE!”
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