“Some of My Favourite Players Are Black” Says Sepp Blatter

ZURICH – FIFA president Sepp Blatter has moved swiftly to play down controversy surrounding his remarks on racism in football by reminding people that some of his favourite players are black.

After claiming racist abuse between players on the pitch could be settled with a handshake, the 75-year-old faced a backlash from the footballing world and accusations that he was not sensitive on the issue of race.

This was hotly denied by the head of the world football organisation as he stated his admiration for the skills of many black players, “and the mixed race ones too.”

‘I get it, I really do’

Offering what he called conclusive proof, Mr Blatter listed black footballers such as Frank Rijkaard, John Barnes and Marcel Desailly as just some of the players whose general ability “matched or even exceed those of their white counterparts in some cases.”

“Let me make it very clear: Some of my favourite players are black players, so there is simply no way my comments could be taken as racially insensitive.”

“I can only assume many of them have coming from disadvantaged backgrounds and the way these people are able to overcome and play the sport we all love and seamlessly integrate with white players truly warms my heart.”

“Great footballers like Samuel Eto’o and…no wait, I meant Seedorf…you must forgive me, they look very similar.  Are they brothers?  They look like brothers.”

Simple misunderstanding

Further evidence of his tolerance came as he confessed to watching “some” of the last African Cup of Nations Tournament which according to Blatter “contained so many black players that I momentarily feared for my safety.”

Depsite his initial reaction, “I stopped myself from switching channels, so where this idea that I am intolerant to the plight of black players has come from is a mystery to me.”

It is not yet known how far this will go the calming his critics, but the most powerful man in football was adamant his comments were misunderstood.

“I do not want to diminish the dimension of the problem of racism in society and in sport. I am committed to watching black players and cheering when they score goals or show the same skill that white players are capable of.”

“One such example is Pele.  My God what a talent…he was almost as good as Maradonna.”

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