BAGHDAD – The official end of the Iraq mission is in jeopardy after US Vice President Joe Biden began telling a ‘long winded and largely uninteresting’ story about the time he discovered the joys of hot cocoa on a winter’s evening.
The retelling was triggered after he was asked what the future held for Iraq post US pullout. “It’s been hours and he still hasn’t answered my question. What is he talking about?'” asked a confused reporter, who regretted asking in the first place.
Mr Biden was supposed to represent the Obama administration at Wednesday’s ceremony, but the event will have to be pushed back ‘a day or two’ unless officials find a way to stop Biden’s scattershot, one-sided lecture.
“We are going to be just fine; they are going to be just fine…It reminds me of the time I had my first cup of hot chocolate when I was a kid back in Delaware…” began a wistful looking Biden “It was a cold night, of course most days were at the time…” [Chief Correspondent: Cut short for brevity]
Reports indicate he went three hours without pausing for breath.
‘They won’t leave until he shuts up’
“Damn. You know what he’s like when he gets going” said Barack Obama who’s own speech planned for Wednesday will almost certainly be pushed back. “Now our entire schedule is delayed. This is the last time I let Joe go out alone!”
Attempts to distract Biden with ‘shiny objects’ have been unsuccessful, but generals on the ground remain hopeful he will tire himself out eventually.
Many Iraqis are concerned the seemingly endless ramblings will lead to a violent backlash as insurgent groups look for their own way to stop Biden talking so the US can officially end the mission and they can begin taking over the country one suicide bombing at a time.
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