WASHINGTON DC – Barack Obama has taken an unprecedented step in the War on Terror by declaring a local dry cleaner a terrorist organisation after losing multiple items of the president’s clothing.
Lucky Star Dry Cleaners have been placed on a Homeland Security watch list following a number of clothing related incidents, including the loss of three separate dress shirts and damage to several others according to Obama aides.
The incident has threatened to sour relations between the United States and South Korea.
‘It was my good shirt’
President Obama made the announcement from the Oval Office on his return from his latest pick up which contained one of the damaged items in question.
Sources close to the president say the damage sustained to the suit he wore when announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden was the last straw and had left him with no choice but to place Mr and Mrs Yeung on the terror watch list.
Mr Obama stated that “effective immediately” Lucky Star Dry Cleaners would classed as an enemy to the United States of America and this office and should be “considered highly dangerous and overly priced for the quality of work they produce.”
However, the dry cleaner in question – now an enemy combatant and subject to the rules of war – dispute the accusation and argue that they have been in business “for ten year and never problem!”
Mrs Yeung even insisted that the president picked up the supposed lost items in question several weeks before.
The administration dismissed these suggestions as false, warning that continued lies would be met in turn with targeted drone attacks.
Shortly after signing an executive order allowing the use of deadly force against the Yeungs, Barack Obama urged the American people to “remain vigilant” when getting clothes cleaned and avoid Lucky Star like the plague.
“Myself and Michelle have frequented Lucky Star for the past four years, but it is with a heavy heart that I must classify this rogue organisation as antithetical to the American values of liberty, justice, and the pursuit of thoroughly cleaned attire at an affordable price.”
He also confirmed he was now on the lookout for a new dry cleaner in the area and would be consulting yelp.com to determine out his next move.