Tag Archive | "south korea"

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UN Inspectors: North Korea May Be Developing Food Technology

PYONGYANG – The United Nations Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission have warned that North Korea is secretly developing technology that will “soon allow it to feed its own people.”

A new report raised fears the country has made “significant” progress in the construction of basic cooking facilities capable of providing regular meals to a growing percentage of the population.

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Barack Obama Declares Local Dry Cleaner Enemy Combatant After Bad Service

WASHINGTON DC – Barack Obama has taken an unprecedented step in the War on Terror by declaring a local dry cleaner a terrorist organisation after losing multiple items of the president’s clothing.

Lucky Star Dry Cleaners have been placed on a Homeland Security watch list following a number of clothing related incidents, including the loss of three separate dress shirts and damage to several others according to Obama aides.

The incident has threatened to sour relations between the United States and South Korea, or heavily stain them at the least.

‘It was my good shirt’

President Obama made the announcement from the Oval Office on his return from his latest pick up which contained one of the damaged items in question.

Sources close to the president say the damage sustained to the suit he wore when announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden was the last straw and had left him with no choice but to place Mr and Mrs Yeung on the terror watch list.

Mr Obama stated that “effective immediately” Lucky Star Dry Cleaners would be classed as an enemy to the United States of America and should be “considered highly dangerous and overly priced for the quality of service they produce.”

However, the dry cleaner in question – now subject to the rules of war – hotly disputed the accusation, arguing that they have been in business “for ten year and never problem!”

Mrs Yeung has even insisted that the president picked up the items in question several weeks before without complaint.

The administration dismissed these suggestions as false, warning that continued lies would be met in turn with targeted drone attacks.

Diplomatic situation

Shortly after signing an executive order allowing the use of deadly force against the Yeungs,  Barack Obama urged the American people to “stay vigilant” when getting garments cleaned and avoid Lucky Star like the plague.

“Michelle and I have frequented Lucky Star for the past four years, so it is with a heavy heart that I must classify this rogue organisation as antithetical to the American values of liberty, justice, and the pursuit of thoroughly cleaned attire at an affordable price.”

He also confirmed he was now on the lookout for a new dry cleaner in the area and would be consulting his yelp.com profile to determine his next move.

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