TRIBECA – Worrying reports out of New York indicate that an U.S. born daredevil has suffered serious injuries after a failed attempt to jump America’s growing inequality gap.
Jeff Thompson is said to have sustained fractures to both legs, lacerations to his upper body and several cracked ribs when his modified Honda CRF 450 proved unable to traverse the vast empty space between the one percent of wealth owners and the rest of society.
His manager was left distraught as Thompson was airlifted to a nearby medical facility.
“I told him not to do it. Christ! I told him – but he kept saying he could do it. I blame myself.”
There have been suggestions that Thompson was unaware the inequality gap had actually grown since the last time he considered the “crazy stunt”, leading to accusations of poor preparations.
This was rejected by his manager who said that any reasonable person could have seen the gap had grown considerably, “but Jett just didn’t want to know”.
Having already jumped a tank full of electric eels, a chasm, a 14 deep line of school buses through a ring of fire and Kanye West’s ego, Thompson had been looking for a more daring challenge and saw the gap between the have and have-nots as the perfect opportunity to cement his name in daredevil history.
Speaking before the near fatal stunt, Thompson optimistically told reporters: “This is it. This is the big one. I’m going to take my Honda and do something that has never been done in the history of stunt men. Prepare to be amazed.”
Medical staff at Bellevue Hospital Center rated his chances of survival as 50-50.
“It’s touch and go but he’s a fighter for sure,” said Dr Howard Feinstein. “Though what he was doing trying to jump such a clearly impossible chasm is beyond me. He could have killed himself!”
Fans praised Mr Thompson for daring to push the boundaries, but admitted that he bit of more than he could chew this time around.
“We all loved it when he made the jump over Kanye’s sense of self-importance. We weren’t sure he wouldn’t be able to top that one,” commented admiring fan Debbie Rawlings
“But the reality is one percent of Americans are in control of 50% of the nation’s wealth – how did he ever think he could make that,” she said.
“This isn’t like jumping a chasm. There are serious risks involved.”