NEW YORK – The relationship between America and Iran has hit a new low after Iran is alleged to have poked them on Facebook, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton admitted today.
Speaking in front of the UN Security Council, Mrs Clinton describes how Iran launched a long-range poke during a Facebook session originating from a Tehran internet cafe.
This latest show of aggression shown by the Ahmedinejad regime has been met with a strong response from the White House who labelled the poke an “aggressive provocation that borders on an invitation to open conflict.”
The situation represents the closest any two nations have come to open conflict since Argentina sent Brazil a friend request on MySpace in 2011 – an incident in which the repercussions are still being felt.
Mrs Clinton was direct in her condemnation: “I mean really, who sends pokes anymore?” She said before issuing a warning that should Iran continue down this path of provocation, “the United States would be left with no choice but to unfriend them and would call for members of this council to do the same.”
However, it’s thought that China and Russia would be hesitant to take such drastic action due to the “cool links” Iran often posts on i’s wall.
In response, Iran have claimed their account was hacked after admitting it could not remember if it logged out properly from its last session.
Ali Akbar Saleh, Iran’s foreign minister, told state television that “sometimes there are so many browser windows open you forget to close them all.”
‘All options are on the table’
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmedinejad echoed this statement, adding that the poke “could not have come from Iran,” because “we hate pokes as much as we would hate Israel if we recognised their existence.”
The explanation however, has failed to convince the Obama administration who remain ready to retaliate by adding Iran to groups without their express permission.
“We do not believe this was an accident,” a statement read. “The poke functionality is clearly marked so this must have been a deliberate strike at the United States.”
“If Iran are capable of launching pokes, it is only a matter of time before they get nuclear weapons.”
Mrs Clinton called for swift action as “Iran has clearly developed an advanced grasp of Facebook features. Which was no small feat as they change the damn thing every week.”
“What the hell is Timeline anyway?!” She added.