UNITED KINGDOM – The Home Office have begun plans to force illegal immigrants out of the country by inundating them with irrelevant calls about mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance.
Under the scheme, people believed to have illegal status will be called by a tone deaf agent asking if the individual would like assistance claiming back money spent on PPI.
Those targeted would also have their protests and desperate pleas to be removed from the database ignored.
A Home Office official described the scheme:
“Our system individually analyses each suspected offender, so someone may only receive one call a day.”
“For more serious abusers we can crank that up to multiple calls a day.”
And in situations regarding “problem individuals”, unnecessary phone calls would be combined with automated voice messages. Enough to force the target out of the country “within a month or so by reasonable estimates”.
However, the scheme has come under sharp criticism as a number of legal UK residents had received calls, including civil right activist Suresh Grover and immigration lawyer Bobby Chan. The latter saying the messages created an atmosphere of fear, leaving honest Britains afraid to answer their phones during the day.
Mr Grover said he was “shocked” and “horrified” to be contacted in such a way considering he had a British passport and had definitely not taken out any form of PPI that he could remember.
‘Don’t they check before they call?’
Despite protests, the measure is seeing immediate results with a growing number of immigrants citing “flipping PPI calls” as the number one reason they now question whether they will stay in the country.
“I come to England with hope in my heart,” recalled Mr Ermir Sulejmani who has lived in the country illegally for eight and a half years. “In my country…no food. No work. Many violence. No future.”
“But now I get calls for ‘PPI’? Everyday, three times. No stop. Always PPI. I’m here almost 10 years and never heard of PPI until now?!”
“I take my family back home next week.”
Surprisingly, Labour leadership backed the plans and described the government’s tactics as “highly effective” and one we cannot argue over “as much as we would like to”.
“To be honest,” began Labour leader Ed Miliband, “we’d love to rip the government a new one over this…but it’s a bloody good idea.”
“I’ve had a number of these damned PPI calls myself and I’m this close to packing my bags.”