MASSACHUSETTS – The battle for president has taken a last minute twist with news that Mitt Romney has dropped out of the race after learning how many poor people actually live in America.
Reports suggest the GOP candidate had not been fully aware of the precise number of Americans living in poverty, a statistic he learned earlier today for the first time.
Staff say Romney was so disgusted by the discovery that he decided it was no longer worth becoming president.
Sources close to the Romney campaign describe the “5 minutes of madness” that lead to the stunning development when the former Massachusetts governor stormed out of his campaign headquarters muttering “…didn’t work this hard for so many Goddamn moochers” and “Obama can have the damn thing” following a phone call from an anonymous source.
His campaign manager was at a loss to explain was looks like being the most shocking tantrum thrown by a presidential candidate since George Washington was told he had too many slaves.
“I’m just as shocked as you are right now,” admitted a flustered Matt Rhoades. “One minute Mitt is on the phone asking for support, the next he’s looking like a donkey just dropped its balls in his mouth.”
Mr Rhoades told reporters he heard Romney yell “HOW MANY?” over the noise of the crowded room.
“Before I could ask what happened he’s up off his chair and storms outta here. Can someone tell me what’s going on?!”
The timing has taken several of his campaign staff by surprised as “we all thought he knew how many poor people there were in the country,” according to campaign assistant Mandy Shepard.
“I just assumed Mitt was ok with it.”
With just hours left in the race Romney’s team face an uphill battle to bring him around to the idea of working this hard for so many impoverished citizens.
In efforts to salvage the campaign Mr Rhoades has called in Romney’s vice presidential running mate to “talk some sense into him”.
Paul Ryan is expected to remind the presidential hopeful that with their economic and health care plans in place there wouldn’t be any poor people to worry about.
“This isn’t a lost cause by any means,” added Mr Rhoade.
“I just hope no one tells him how many black people there are here.”