FLORIDA – The third presidential debate saw a stunning surprise as Barack Obama announced every single audience member would be getting their own predator drone to take home.
In what was the biggest surprise of the campaign so far, President Obama gave all in attendance a box, suggesting whoever had a remote guidance system would get a Predator drone. The Lynn University crowd went ballistic when they quickly realised everyone was getting a Predator drone.
The shocking reveal came in response to a moderator question over the president’s policy on drone attacks.
Dreams do come true
With many expecting the issue to be overlooked entirely, onlookers were genuinely surprised when Bob Schieffer turned the subject of the debate to the secretive practise of unmanned and indiscriminate bombing of civilian areas between Afghanistan and Pakistan.
But they were even more surprised when the president asked them to look under their seats.
“Look Bob,” Mr Obama began in his response. “We’ve been using drones successfully to take out al-Qaeda operative who would do us harm.”
The president continued: “…What I’m trying to say is, I think if everyone in the audience takes a peek under their seat they’ll find the answer to that particular question.”
As people felt underneath the lecture room seating they discovered mysterious boxes.
“Now I want you to hold your box but don’t open them,” Obama said with a knowing smile.
After calling for a drum roll the president instructed the audience to “open up those boxes and see what you’ve got in there.”
It was at that point the crowd realised every box had controls to an MQ-1 Predator drone and in front of an audience of eligible voters, the president ecstatically cried “You get a drone. You get a drone. Youuuu get a drone!”
“Everybody gets a drone. Everybody gets a Predator drone!”
‘Is this the wildest thing ever or what?’
“This is so freaking cool!” Cried on tearful audience member. “I never had a drone before. Obama is the man!”
President Obama told the audience they were free to use the drones “as you see fit,” adding: “There’s no need to tell anyone what you do with them,” as “heck, we don’t tell you anything.”
Another voter said they would be putting their drone to use right away in clearing the lines at the next Macy’s sale.
“I hope that answers your question Bob,” finished the president as the fever pitch finally died down.