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Man Who Played Barack Obama in 08 ‘Angered’ By Midterm Loss


CALIFORNIA – The man who played Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election has revealed his ‘deep anger’ over Barack Obama’s failure to capitalise on the momentum he created two years ago.

Speaking after a devastating midterm loss which saw the Democratic Party lose control of the House on Tuesday, Jerry Williams, a professional Barack Obama stunt double said it was hard watching all the good work he had done ‘pissed away’ by two years of limp governance.

“When they called me in to do this job, I thought they were serious about running the country,” recalls Williams. “To see them drop the ball like this…It just breaks my heart.”

The California native was roundly praised for his amazing work capturing the hearts of minds of an entire country with blazing rhetoric driven by a sense of hope, audacity and promise of change for the future, rallying frenzied support that saw a historic victory for the Democrat party.

He became the only African-American to be elected President of the United States who did not actually go on to become president, instead handing over control of the executive branch to Mr Obama for what Jerry Williams felt should have been a ‘slam dunk’.

“I served the country to him on a plate!” cried an increasingly agitated Williams who has found it increasingly difficult to get work.  “Kobe to Shaq alley-oop.  That was the game plan….Stick to the game plan Barack!”

‘He’s making me look bad’

Speaking at a press gathering, President Obama acknowledged Williams’ claims of dropping the ball, believing that the lookalike’s performance in  making the baseless promises needed to get voters eating out of his hands was proving a tough act to follow.

With thoughts now turning to 2012 election, Democrats have are internally considering hiring Williams a second time to rescue them from their current predicament.  A Robert Gibbs lookalike close to the out of work impersonator said he would be interested ‘only if the price was right’.

Should Obama’s stock fall any further, Mr Williams says he may be forced to have reconstructive surgery to reignite his career as a lookalike for a more popular African-American figure.

“It’s drastic I know, but I just don’t see any other way.  At the rate he’s going, I won’t be able to put food on the table for Anabelle [Michelle Obama lookalike] and the kids…I could do a great Denzel.  People still like him.”

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Trapped Democrats Hopeful of Election Success


DENVER – Barack Obama and 33 other Democrats have trapped themselves inside a Colorado mine in an astonishing attempt to boost voter sentiment ahead of November’s midterm elections.  It was feared the group fell victim to a tragic accident, with early reports suggesting they were underground searching for remains of the fortitude that saw them take control of the country in 2008 having failed to find it anywhere else since.

This theory was however dismissed by the president via video link from 1000 feet beneath ground, confirming the move is a calculated appeal to sympathy voters in a last ditch effort to counter a resurgent Republican base.

“This is a fine hole we’ve dug ourselves into…very fine,” commented an optimistic Barack Obama, who laughed away suggestions that digging yourself into a hole may not be the most sound campaign strategy.  “Look, we’ve lost the black vote, the center vote, hell we’ve even lost the Democrat vote.  We may as well just keep digging and hope things turn around.”

Surprisingly, Republicans have also backed the move making it the first bi-partisan agreement of Obama’s presidency.

‘It just might work’

In addition to the president, whose approval rating has plummeted faster than Mel Gibson’s chances of getting work in Hollywood, Harry Reid, Ted Strickland  and Nancy Pelosi are just some of the Democrats taking part in the unconventional campaign.  President Obama confirmed they would remain in the mine until a few hours before voting opens to capitalise on the ‘inevitable outpouring of sympathy’ from concerned onlookers across key states in which they currently trail.

Party supporters have been left confused by the strategy but were forced to admit that whatever the Democrats are doing would likely be an improvement over what they’ve been doing for the past two years, which pundits remarked as being like ‘watching a snake eat it’s own tail’.

It still remains to be seen what effect an extended stay in a hole this deep will have on party mentality.  Political analysts have voiced concerns the Democrats could become so conditioned that even if their audacious plan succeeds, they would just end up digging themselves into an even bigger hole in time for the 2012 elections.

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