KENTUCKY – The world’s population of zombie have hit out at Halloween party goers for wearing stereotypical costumes that paint zombies in a derogatory fashion.
Zombies have been a popular costume choice for decades but zombie groups, or “herds”, have said enough is enough and called on the still living to consider alternate costumes this Halloween season.
One zombie questioned said: “sure, we eat brains but Filipinos eat duck foetus so who’s the disgusting one really?”
Last year a college student, Shannon McCarthy, came under heavy fire when photos of her zombie themed party were put online. She came under intense pressure to remove the “offensive” images by zombie advocacy groups.
Unfortunately she was tragically eaten alive along with three friends after stumbling across a wandering group of zombies and never got the chance.
Current zombie spokesman and former scientist with a promising future Jon Bradford phD said it was time to educate people about the true impact the “crude stereotype” was having on the zombie population.
“We must end this harmful depiction,” he explained as he shuffled to what looked like his next meal. “These costumes reduce an entire culture of undead into a two-dimensional caricature made of nothing but negative connotations that’s just not who we are,” adding: ”braaaaains”.
Pinning down his unsuspecting target, he went on to say: “Eating brains is just a small part of what it means to be a zombie.”
“I mean, I got a wife and kids…at least I did before I ate their brains.”
‘We’re (undead) people too’
Wiping blood and brain matter from the hole that used to be his mouth, Zombie Jon urged party-goers to think about what costume they wear and how it offend others.
Newly turned zombie Sarah Mitchell agreed with Zombie Jon but suggested the media also played a big part in perpetuating the negative stereotype.
The former teacher and mother of four blamed shows like The Walking Dead for “negatively typecasting Zombies as mindless and bloodthirsty”.
Seeking his next victim, Zombie Jon called on costume manufacturers to pull insulting generic zombie uniforms from shelves or at least produce costumes for Halloween that included the rich history of zombies.
Zombie Doctor, Zombie Lawyer or Zombie Average Guy Running In Fear For His Life were just a few costume ideas that could offer the necessary cultural nuance.
“We’re only asking for a bit of sensitivity. That’s all.”
He later added: “braaaaains”.