WASHINGTON – The validity of the 2012 presidential election has been questioned by Republicans, accusing Democrats of voter intimidation by adding a black man to the ballot.
The Federal Election Commission has been inundated with complaints from conservative voters identifying a “scary black man” as showing up on several voter forms, leaving people feeling intimidated while casting their vote.
One voter from Alabama said she hadn’t felt so fearful for her life since catching the end of Roots by mistake one time.
Republican have also accused Democrats of attempting to influence voters by allowing Mitt Romney to speak publicly – a “deplorable” tactic that may be responsible for up to 50% of the votes for Barack Obama.
A filing made in the early hours of Wednesday state the Democratic National Committee (DNC) made “multiple and egregious actions” to “negatively influence” the outcome of the 2012 election by “employing a menacing black man” to sway voter outcome.
It’s understood the Republican party launched a similar complaint after the 2008 election, but no action was taken.
Fox News legal analyst and walking penis euphemism Peter Johnson Jr. said the committee “can no longer ignore an issue this big” in response to reports that Barack Obama’s name was on every ballot across the country.
“We’re talking grade A voter intimidation here,” Johnson Jr claimed. “This is now the second time the liberal left have used these kind of tactics to influence the vote.”
Johnson continued: “Quite frankly we’re sick of it.”
‘It was never fair fight’
If the allegations prove true, conservative pundits estimate as many as everyone who voted for Barack Obama could have done so under duress. Putting the result of the election into serious doubt.
“Let’s not pretend we don’t all know what’s going on here,” said senior political analyst Brit Hume who blasted Democrats for “trapping voters in a confined place with a black guy.”
“Naturally you’ll do whatever he wants to get out of there to safety. I know I would.”
Mr Hume said it was a strategy that would never ever be employed by the Republican party.
“I’m proud to say you will never see Republicans stoop to such lengths,” said Hume.
“The Democrats really should be ashamed.”