SpongeBob SquarePants Calls For Strike In Krusty Krab Pay Protest


BIKINI BOTTOM – SpongeBob Squarepants has become the latest fast food worker to call for strike action in a dispute with the Krusty Krab over low hourly pay.

“Mr Krabs has gone too far,” screamed SpongeBob who admitted “krappy wages” is the reason he’s been wearing the same pair of square pants for 10 years.

President Barack Obama has already backed senate measures to increase the minimum wages for fast food workers “who worked their box-shaped pants off all day every day”.

‘I’m ready for a raise’

Highlighting the inadequacy of his current nickel salary, SpongeBob revealed he was barely earning enough to keep up with payments on his one bedroom pineapple under the sea.

He had wanted to move into a two bedroom cantaloupe, but a move up the property ladder was impossible on his the Krusty Krab wages.

“And just look how unhappy this has made Squidward,” SpongeBob added while annoyingly shoving his finger in Squidward’s nose.

Co-worker Squidward backed the message for fair pay, but made clear he could not care less about the messenger.

In a defiant statement, Eugene H Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Krab Incorporated announced there was “no way in hell” he would part with “even a penny more” to offer his employees a liveable wage.

Negotiations between parties been tense for weeks with SpongeBob at one stage threatening to work for rival firm Chum Bucket.

Mr Krabs urged SpongeBob to “stop this foolishness and get back to work” as time spent away from the till was “costing me money laddie!”

‘Low pay makes me more moneeeeyyyy’

Protests have gained support across all one Krusty Krab locations with SpongeBob recruiting Patrick Star to hold signs reading “No pay.  No…umm, err…yay!”

Despite the pressure, sources close to the Krusty Krab say there is little chance of a new pay deal being reached.

Mr Krabs was earlier quoted as suggesting the idea of paying a fair wage was as ridiculous as the idea of throwing out “even a dime’s worth of Krabby Patty just because they were past their edible sell by date”.

It’s also thought that “pay rise” was one of the banned phrases at the Krusty Krab just ahead of “free lunch” and second only to “money isn’t everything”.

“By me barnacles are these lads insane?!” Mr Krabs raged to Bikini Bottom News reporters.  “I didn’t get to where I am today by giving my lovely money away to every sponge who ask me!”

“Spongebob and I have discussed this.  He asked for a raise and I told him over my dead shell.  What more is there to talk about?”

He immediately added: “Now are you going to just stand there or buy something?”

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