Under 21 Squad “Ready For First Team Failure” Says Pearce

ENGLAND – After three straight defeats at the European Championships, Stuart Pearce has backed his young squad for abject failure at full international level.

Losses to Italy, Norway and Israel saw the England under-21 side crash out of the tournament faster than Theo Walcott after a lost cause, the ideal preparation for the first team according to England fans.

“Flippin’ heck!  These boys played so badly they could fit right into the full squad now,” said one traveling supporter.

The right stuff

With the World Cup in Brazil just a year away, the FA face a race against time to gather the players able to deliver a fleeting hope of success in a major tournament only to dash it with a feeble quarter-final exit.

FA chairman David Bernstein said he strongly believes “what we have seen in Israel highlights the wealth of average players masquerading as world class we have at our disposal.”

Speaking after the defeat to Israel, the Under-21 manager told reporters: “This is the second tournament in the row we’ve gone out at the group stage so no one can tell me they’re not ready.”

“Three defeats and only one goal scored isn’t a fluke – these boys are ready,” said Pearce.

And on the back of woeful displays at the World Cup in 2010 and Euro 2012, England will be looking to many of these players to continue the nation’s run of inept performances in major tournaments.

The readiness of the under-21s did look in doubt coming into the tournament with nine consecutive wins.

However, any doubt was brushed aside as easily as the young England side were in all three games, proving they possess the lack of creativity and technical ability needed to fail on the biggest stages in world football.

‘The future is bright’

Mr Bernstein hailed this as the “rusted tin” era of English football which reaffirmed the English game’s ability to produce over privileged and under achieving players on a consistent basis.

The performances will no doubt give first team coach Roy Hodgson a genuine selection problem as he battles to determine is worst starting XI for the World Cup.

“As things stand I could put out two average sides and they would both get spanked by any of the top 20 or 30 team in the world,” said Hodgson.  “There are almost two players for each position.”

“Those are really the kind of problems you want as a manager.”

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