GEORGIA – Two men have been accused of reinforcing African-American stereotypes, setting the race back “at least three decades” after stealing thousands of dollars worth of chicken wings.
Dewayne Patterson and Renaldo Jackson were both accused of massive chicken wing theft – a case that lead to many prominent African-American figures to publicly distance themselves from the two suspects.
It’s since been agreed that black men stealing an unreasonably large amount of chicken wings has strengthened negative stereotypes more than a million more Tyler Perry movies could ever have.
Irreparable damage
Since images of the two were made public, the link between black people and chicken is now stronger than the link between black people and the Electric Slide according to an independent think tank.
Reverend Jesse Jackson’s anger was plain when reportedly overheard shouting “…just had to be chicken wings?!” on a call to Al Sharpton, Spike Lee and Oscar winner Sidney Poitier.
He was quoted screaming: “Now I know we done fought too damn hard for these simple ass mother f*ckers to go and mess it up over some goddamn chicken wings?!”
“They messing or up for me. I mean all of us.”
The shame of the act has also been felt by ordinary African-Americans, a majority of whom could only shake their heads and declined to answer when asked about the accused.
Local African-American Leroy Washington confessed that it was now “virtually impossible” to order chicken wings in front of white co-workers. Others have stressed that while they do like chicken wings from time to time, “we don’t like them that much.”
‘Making us all look bad’
U.S. President Barack Obama also weighed into the debate admitted it was “disappointing” that just two men could do so much damage to the image of an entire race of people.
“Let me be clear,” said an embarrassed looking president. “I am personally deeply saddened to have had to witness this stereotypical resolution to the chicken wing theft.”
“Both Michelle and I have fought tirelessly against every barrier laid in our paths to reach the highest office in the land, in the process showing a generation of young African-Americans the unlimited possibilities no matter the colour of your skin.”
“But all that counts for nothing after what these knuckleheads have done.”
“I just hope their pants were sagging when they were caught.”
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