Yogi Bear “Comes Clean” About Defecating in Woods in Oprah Interview

YELLOWSTONE PARK – Oprah Winfrey has announced the conclusion of her “frank and honest” interview with Yogi Bear over allegations he defecated in a local wooded area.

After a decade of furious denials, the 300 pound brown bear looks set to finally admit that on several occasions he did in fact take a dump in the woods, according to the US presenter.

It will be followed by a hard-hitting expose that reportedly reveals the Pope to in fact be Catholic.

Public admission

Yogi has constantly fought against allegations he was central to a national park wide conspiracy to defecate in the woods.

The controversy led to a split with longtime partner Boo-Boo and the loss of millions of dollars in sponsorship deals including missing out on a lucrative position as the Charmin bear.

Winfrey, speaking before the interview air date, said she had been taken aback by the candour of the bear’s willingness to confess.

“He just sat there and let it all out on the couch,” Winfrey told reporters after she had recorded the two and a half hour interview.

“We’re still picking through it now.”

Coming clean

Instead of admitting any offense when allegations first broke, Yogi hotly denied any wrongdoing and maintained a staunch campaign of denial for over a decade.

Whenever the subject was brought to him he always claimed “I may have swiped a pic-a-nic basket or two” but “I never took a dump in Yellowstone Park or any wooded area for that matter.”

However, a Yellowstone Park report into an increase of feces declared Yogi guilty of ongoing “dumping” and as a result was stripped of all 1,218 picnic baskets acquired over his career.

“Yogi always felt he was smarter than the average bear,”  said Ranger Smith, “but now the consequence of his dirty actions have finally caught up with him.”

Following the feces report, his sidekick described how Yogi used his influence to take a dump anywhere he wanted.

“He would have me keep lookout while he just did his business by a bush or a tree or something,” recalled Boo-Boo.

“He thought he was untouchable.  Sometimes he didn’t even wash his paws.”

Major coup

As news of the candid interview spreads, other high-profile bears have publicly slammed the Yellowstone native.  Ironically, Winnie the Pooh came down the hardest, calling Yogi “The biggest disgrace since Gentle Ben was found guilty of domestic abuse in the early 90s.”

The interview is a major coup for Oprah’s OWN network and could lead to other admissions with Bert and Ernie rumored as guests for a future show.

“There were a couple times when Yogi was emotional and found it difficult to talk about some of these things,” said Oprah who claimed the material was so good it would now be broadcast over two sittings.

She said Yogi had come well coached and had “certainly prepared for this moment”.

“The important question that everyone wanted answered:  Did this bear sh*t in the woods?”

“I was satisfied with the answers.”

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