Santa Claus Latest Arrest In Jimmy Savile Investigation


UNITED KINGDOM – In a surprise criminal development, Santa Claus has been arrested and brought in for questioning as part of the police investigation related to the Jimmy Saville abuse claims.

Santa Claus is the latest high-profile individual to be caught up in the investigation initiated after the former DJ was subject to a line of abuse claims longer than a Peter Jackson Trilogy.

Mrs Claus was not available for comment.

‘It’s a shock to us all’

Metropolitan Police insiders say Mr Claus became a person of interest due to a list of questionable activities came to light, including entering the homes of children at night.

Having held Mr Claus in custody, investigators say they are leaving no stone unturned and could no longer turn a blind eye to any “old white-haired men that spend disproportionate amounts of time with children.”

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Officers working on Operation Yewtree have today made a single arrest the London area.”

“At approximately 8am local time one jolly old fat man was arrested attempting to leave Heathrow’s Terminal 5 in some kind of reindeer powered sleigh and taken into local custody.”

“His sleigh and reindeer have all been impounded following a bail hearing.”

As Mr Claus was being led away by officers, other members of the investigation were entering his workshop in the North Pole with plastic evidence bags.

“They just came in a started bagging things,” described a local elf.

“And no one will tell us what’s going on  – Why won’t they tell us where Santa is?!”

Mr Claus had been widely expected to continue his decades long run delivering toys through the world on Christmas Eve, but his position now looks to be in serious doubt.

Officials at his workshop have confirmed his suspension while allegations hang over him, agreeing it was “for the best”.

Pleading innocence

Mr Claus spoke through his solicitor in a statement that “vigorously denies” the allegations which date back to one snowy Christmas Eve 40 years ago.

However, the “mountains” of letters from children as young as four could mean Mr Claus faces a tough legal battle and charges in as many as nine countries across seven continents.

Other high-profile arrests have included Barney the Dinosaur who was taken into custody only days prior to Mr Claus.

Though yet to make an official announcement, the purple dinosaur did amble around wordlessly for 10 minutes in what is thought to be a sign of protest at his treatment.

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