Emergency Troops To Fill Empty Spaces on London Underground


LONDON – The British government has confirmed it will look into reports of empty seats on the London Underground which has left locals without a convenient excuse to arrive late to work.

An urgent investigation has been launched as a result with workers in the capital expressing disappointment they have not been massively delayed on their commute to the office.

The smooth operation of London’s tube network was a major blow to those looking forward to having a ready made excuse when strolling into the office at 11am.

Emergency situation

Organisers were forced to act after gaps were visible on a number of trains across Central and Jubilee Lines ensuring a trouble free journey for several commuters, many of whom say they feel let down after promises of packed trains and delayed journeys failed to manifest.

Although unconfirmed, potentially embarrassing eye-witness accounts suggest the travel situation was so under control there was room to allow women and those with small children to get off a train before boarding.

Financial clerk David Cross told of his anger at getting into work seven minutes earlier than usual on the first commute since the games began.

“This is a total shambles,” blasted Mr Cross. “A big part of the London 2012 promise was for every Londoner to have a good excuse to come to work late.”

“Someone needs to take responsibility for this fiasco,” he said adding: “I hate my job.”

“It was supposed to be simple,” explained another commuter who chose to remaining anonymous.  “I get in get in at half 11, blame the Olympics, have lunch at half 12, then leave work early to beat ‘the rush’.”

“But today I got in at half eight like always.  Who’s responsible for this?!”

‘We’re working to rectify the problem’

London Mayor Boris Johnson said the empty seats were “very disappointing” suggesting the problem was “down to certain individuals who bought travelcards in advance but subsequently decided to take a taxi.”

He then outlined plans to call in emergency troops to “slow things down by “bringing in troops on a temporary basis so we can gum up the works.”

“They’ll be walking around aimlessly, getting in the way while holding tube maps upside down and holding doors open instead of waiting two minutes for the next train.”

“Clearly we’ve fallen short of expectations set before the games and we are working tirelessly to ensure our transport system buckles under pressure as we promised it would.”

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