NEW YORK – In a surprising turn of events, an expert negotiator has announced the divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise this weekend.
Tom Cruise had first taken Holmes captive in 2006 but in the early hours of Saturday, a hostage negotiator confirmed Katie Holmes had emerged from the relationship a free woman.
The divorce brings to an end one of the longest hostage situations in American history.
Freedom
Terms of the negotiation have not been made public, but Cruise is understood to have received safe passage to an unknown Latin American country.
Holmes’ release caps a relationship that began when Cruise is believed to have bundled her into trunk of his vehicle, covered her with a blanket and driven the actress to his home before authorities could be alerted.
After being held for so long ago, officials were concerned by the “very real” possibility that “we were looking at another Patty Hearst,” said veteran hostage negotiator Kent Powers.
Powers was called in once the situation moved past the two year mark in what became the longest running case of forced house arrest since Aung San Suu Kyi.
A spokesperson from the Mission Impossible star told reporters that “although Tom has accepted the terms of the negotiator, he is deeply saddened to lose such a high value target.”
Parents Martin and Kathleen Holmes are said to be relieved to have their daughter back, shedding light on the strain of having their daughter taken but never receiving a ransom note.
“Everyday for six years we waited by the mailbox for something to explain why he took our daughter.”
Crisis management
Mr Powers admitted it was hard to keep hope alive at times: “I gotta be honest, it doesn’t always end this way,” he said while explaining how his team had tried a number of tactics over the years, including cutting the power and ensuring Cruise never won an Oscar in efforts to frustrate him all to no avail.
At one point even considered armed intervention when the pair had not been seen together since February, sparking fears Holmes had not survived the ordeal.
“Usually when we can’t talk the guy into releasing the hostage after a few months we’re looking at bringing someone out in a body bag.”
“When I made first contact it was clear I was dealing with a nutcase and those are the toughest to deal with,” recalled Powers. “An alien galactic ruler named Xenu? I thought Katie was done for. We all did.”
“The fact we were able to get Ms Holmes out unharmed after six years is a Goddamn miracle.”
With Holmes successfully extracted, Powers said he would turn his skills to freeing the Transformers franchise from Michael Bay’s production company.
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