David Haye And Dereck Chisora To Fight After School Behind Bike Shed

ENGLAND – David Haye and Dereck Chisora are to face each other behind a bike shed in a fight sanctioned by a local school on 14 July.

The British Boxing Board of Control would not sanction the fight because neither man holds a British licence, or the maturity to be permitted a professional billing.

Promoter Frank Warren believed the fight was shaping to be even bigger than the year seven mass brawl that broke out after an unidentified child shouted “fight” in a crowded classroom.

Fight night

One pupil said she wasn’t sure about having two grown men fight on school grounds, but after seeing their previous press conference agreed each had what it took to put on an exhibition worthy of 11-year-old boys.

Speaking at the conference in front of school gates, where the two fighters were separated by a year 11 big kid, Haye said: “He is the ideal opponent for me.”

“I tried to give him a wedgie and this is the opportunity to follow through on that.”

The 31-year-old Haye added: “This is definitely personal. We genuinely don’t like each other. He has threatened to take my lunch money.”

“This fight is about eradicating boxing of an idiot,”  Haye said, but noted fans would have to wait until after the fight to find out which idiot he was referring to.

Chisora, who was surrounded by eight year 10s and a sixth form student, said: “Your talk is cheap. You always talk, but I am rubber and you are glue.”

He went on to clarify that “What ever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”

Child’s play

Though both men believe they can outlast the other over 12 rounds, they will be looking for a fast knockout before the fight can be broken up by Mr Goodwin the Geography teacher.

Mr Goodwin has already a record for stopping five previous fights prematurely including the epic match-up between Charlie Walters, 11, and Matt Eccleston, 10 and a half, in the lunchroom after a heated chemistry class.

The pair have begun trading insults at each other ahead of the eagerly anticipated fight, with Haye suggesting Chisora’s mother is so dumb she thought the iPad was a new brand of women’s health product.

His opponent has already responded by alleging that David Haye’s mum was so poor she once had to stand outside KFC and lick other people’s fingers.


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