SEAL Team 6 Successfully Pick Up Obama Daughters From School

WASHINGTON DC – U.S. Special Operations forces have successfully picked up the president’s daughters from school in the kind of daring raid the Obama administration has said “ensures the girls get home in time for dinner”.

President Obama authorized the mission by SEAL Team 6 last week when he noticed the late return of both Sasha and Malia from Sidwell Friends school “for the third or fourth time this semester.”

News of the team’s success reached the president before diner time and allowed the family to enjoy a meal of spaghetti and meatballs together.

High value targets

The president called the mission “yet another message to the world that when school ends at five, we expect the girls home by five thirty.”

Officials said the raid, by members of the same SEAL Team 6 unit that killed Osama bin Laden, demonstrated President Barack Obama’s focus on family meal time.

Roughly two dozen SEALs parachuted from an Air Force special operations plane to a location two miles from the athletics field as the girls were finishing P.E.

Reports confirm the commandos “entered the vicinity of the compound at 1600 hours,” at which point they “secured the immediate area before maneuvering to the north side of the cafeteria.”

From there “they made their way through the library and reached Mrs Simon’s history class using the latest breach and entry techniques in time to load the girls into a helicopter waiting on the roof of the gymnasium.”

SEAL snipers had been staged to protect against hall monitors, though a U.S. official confirmed the fake hall passes deployed by the team meant use of live ammunition was not required on this occasion.

Mission accomplished

“As a parent, I could not be prouder of the troops who carried out this mission,” Obama said in a statement released by the White House.  “Michelle was not going to tolerate the girls coming home late again on another spaghetti and meatball night.”

The president also apologised for the injuries sustained by little Timmy Brennan during the raid.

Head of school, Tom Farquhar did question whether the mission was necessary as “we could have let the girls go a little earlier than the rest of the class if it was a problem.”

Following the successful mission, Barack Obama went on to indicate he would consider deploying SEAL Team 6 again the next time the girls’ piano lessons ran over time.

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