Nigerian President Sends Email Request For Financial Aid

From: Abuja, Nigeria

 To: The esteemed President / Prime Minister,

As you are no doubt aware, our country is under attack by the extremist group Boko Haram who continue to terrorise those in the south.  I write to you to request assistance from your government to help rid us of these militant scoundrels.

The terrible scenes of violence must be stopped and having consulted with my ministers, I offer you the opportunity of a lifetime to aid your troubled counterparts and make your country very rich in turn.

Let me explain the current situation.

To fight back against Boko Haram I planned to deploy peacekeeping personnel highly trained in matters of keeping the peace.  As you will no doubt be fully aware this requires monies of substance to maintain.  Sometimes securing the peace feel like marriage to Heather Mills.  I jest.

However, it is important to remind you that in a state of emergency even I am forbidden to conduct the transactions necessary to provide the funds needed to enable our peacekeepers to peacekeep.

I believe it is what you call a “catch em 22” and that is where you come in.

Being a person of your advanced educational skills, I am certain there is no need to explain to you that without bringing a stop to the fighting our monies remain in a suspended account at our Central Bank of Nigeria.

However, as president I have the ability to authorise our central bank to transfer the sum of $47,500,000,000.00 (Forty seven billion, five hundred million dollars) from our vast oil revenues into your international account which can then be use to fund our fight against terrorism.

I’m sure you understand these are very substantial and vast sums as I have just told you this fact.  Once the violence is brought to an end, you can transfer the money back to my country and keep a percentage for yourself.

Sharing is caring as they say.

The total sum will be shared as follows: 70% for us and 30% for you.  As you can see these terms are on par with the Apple application shop and as such I am sure you will find them fair.

The transfer is risk free on both sides and as I am president of this country I have the authority to say such things as I am saying to you currently.

If you find this proposal acceptable, I shall require the following document to begin the fight back against extremism:

1. Your nation’s central banker’s name, telephone, account and fax number.
2. Your own private telephone and fax number – for confidentiality and easy communication.
3. Your letter headed paper stamped and signed.
4. You diary dates indicating the time you will be out of the country – for improved schedule coordination.

Please call me at your convenience on 18-467-4975 or contact our bank at presidentbank@yahoo.com.

Time is of the essence as I have mentioned the sooner you act the more monies there will be with your name on.

I look forward to your assistance and solicit absolute confidentiality from you on this opportunity.  Please do not inform any other heads of states unless this is the head of Greece, Italy or Spain, in which case please forward this correspondence to another country.

Awaiting your urgent response.

Goodluck Jonathan
President, Nigeria

P.S. Please be aware that if you receive such letters from other troubled heads of state they may be scams aimed at prying your nation’s monies away from you.