White House Names Armed Predator Drone As Person of the Year


WASHINGTON DC – The White House has selected its person of the year, giving the distinction to the individual they feel has had the most impact throughout the year: The predator drone.

Controlled by remote control from miles away, the unmanned aerial vehicle has proved itself “indispensable” when it come to raining fiery death in the general vicinity of something that resembles the enemy.

The predator drone beat out worthy competitors such as the gun that killed Colonel Gadaffi and the heart attack to claim the top prize.

There was also an emotional nod for the towel and bucket of water, the duo finally credited for their years of “tireless” work uncovering the location of Osama bin Laden.

Runaway success

United States Air Force Chief of Staff General Norton A. Schwartz said the predator drone tireless efforts were “transforming the way we shoot things like it was on Xbox”.

Officials said award reflected the importance of the drone in 2011 from the hills of the Middle East, to the caves of the Middle East and the shanty towns of the Middle East.

General Schwartz was glowing in his assessment:  “The predator drone has truly changed the face of fighting terror.  At least I assume that’s the face…it’s really hard to tell from so far away.  It could be the back of the head.”

He later clarified “The predator drone has truly changes some part of the anatomy of fighting the war on terror.”

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said it was a tribute to bringing the real meaning of “oh sh*t!” to the Arab world.

President Obama also heaped praise on the UAV MQ-1 Hunter/Killer drone that had “shown its value time and time again first in Afghanistan, then in Pakistan, in Yemen, and back around to Afghanistan again.”

Worthy recipient

Although the drone suffered a recent setback after being downed in Iran, this was not enough to “undo the great work in collateral damage it has done consistently up to now.”

There appeared to be consensus about the awarding of the prize to the drone the White House agreed though for short time,  captured the full attention of everyone it met like no other candidate since the atomic bomb.

“In fact we couldn’t find one living person that was against the choice of the predator drone as the right choice,” claimed Obama.

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