Santa’s Workshop Conditions ‘Exposed’ In Undercover Report

GREENLAND – Santa Claus has publicly defended conditions inside his workshop following a five month undercover investigation into poor working conditions.

Mr Claus has spent Christmas morning fending off “sweatshop” claims after footage released today show workers in what as been described in an “inhuman” effort to manufacture enough gifts to supply the entire nice list.

Santa Claus has denied all allegations.

Serious allegations

Best known for its “ultra cheap” selection of toys, Santa’s Workshop regularly undercuts many of the world’s best known retailers.

Reports suggest Mr Claus forces workers into day-long shifts, paying them in “Christmas cheer” and circumventing employee law by calling those at the factory “Santa’s Little Helpers”.

Michelle Daniels, spokeswoman for a consumer watchdog gave details into the undercover report that lead to the revelations.

“We’ve followed this story for a number of Christmases now as it’s our belief that no one can produce that volume of toys for the world’s nice children for free without cutting some major corners.”

In addition to brutal working hours, elves were also shown to be wearing uniforms “designed to strip them of their dignity.”

An anonymous source inside the North Pole facility seemed to corroborate the watchdog investigation.

“We’d work for hours breaking our backs to make these God damn toys and when it came time to get paid he’d just say ‘ho ho ho’.”

“That was his answer for everything. Are we getting overtime for this?  ‘Ho ho ho’.  Can we get a break?  ‘Ho ho ho’.  What’s happening with health insurance? ‘Ho ho freaking ho’.

‘Santa Claus is coming to court’

Some at the workshop are even thought to be under the legal working elf age, though Mrs Daniels admitted it was hard to tell as they were all so small.

Speaking from his operational headquarters in Greenland, Santa refuted the findings of “gotcha journalism”, saying he was victim of a witch-hunt against the one percent of top toy makers.

Although the final report is still to be published, the public has nonetheless been troubled by the news.

“The prices are so low, but I never really thought about it until I saw this report,” confessed Diane Martins, a recipient of a several toys from Santa’s Workshop for over a decade.

“It does make you wonder how they’re able give them away from free.  You just don’t think about what it really costs to make these toys when you’re five.”

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