Hackers Shut Down Mitt Romney’s Operating System


MASSACHUSETTS – The Republican race for presidential nominee took another twist last night after computer hackers reportedly hacked into Mitt Romney and shut down his operating system.

The attack is thought to have taken place during a press conference as Romney began reciting “garbled gibberish and programming code” in front of journalists.

Mitt Romney’s internal firewall was left unable to defend against external scrutiny, leaving his political campaign unit (PCU) incapable of generating vague and evasive non-answers to simple questions.

Made in Wall Street

The security breach marks the first time a hacking attempt on a public figure has been made since Keanu Reeves was jailbroken in a failed attempt to install a more life-like acting ability firmware.

Observers had initially assumed the former Governor was referring to his new tax structure when he shouted “0-0-0”, and thought he was actually laying out his plans for government when he repeated the phrase “error – immediate shutdown required” for 10 minutes.

“This is terrible news for Romneybot,” said political commentator Bill O Reilly, who believed there was now a genuine possibility of hackers uploading Romney’s political kernel into a non-Mormon humanoid unit – posing a serious threat to the former Governor’s chances of securing enough votes for the GOP nomination.

Those in Romney’s camp initially played down the breach as compromising “only a very small section” of his fresh ideas for government – but it was later confirmed that hackers actually got everything.

Mitt Romney’s campaign manager later acknowledged the severity of the hack in a statement, admitting they should have noticed signs of malfunction when Romney privately acknowledged the possibility that President Obama was born in America.

Inadequate security measures

Technology experts say hackers took advantage of Romney’s “simplistic security protocols”, to gain crucial login information before accessing his core operating system terminal through brute force methods.

“His password was ‘corporationsrpeople’.  Once the hackers got that they had complete access to his systems as well as his credit card details.”

The incident appears to have opened the door open for fellow candidate Rick Perry who is deemed too simple a system to be cracked with modern techniques.

Mitt Romney has since been returned to his manufacturer for urgent repairs and is expected to be wiped clean and reinstalled with the latest version of popular political soundbites.

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