Colonel Gaddafi Mistaken For Tea Party Candidate

LIBYA –   A new poll suggests Tea Party voters may have confused Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi for a valid Republican presidential nominee following a string of rambling audio messages and all round special behaviour.

The figures surprisingly show the troubled dictator to be a viable candidate for the GOP nomination on the back of Tea Party support – posting a nine point lead over Governor Rick Perry.

Gaddafi garnered 26% of the vote, followed by Rick Perry (17%), Mitt Romney (15%), Michele Bachmann (11%), and none of the above (9%).

That’s up from 0%, before voters realised how much of a basket case he was.

‘He ticks all the boxes’

Political analyst Matt Goodman understood why many assumed he was in the race as Gaddafi’s consistent displays of madness would have resonated well with Tea Party voters.

“He’s a raving lunatic,” suggested Goodman. “The last few months of the Gaddafi regime have really opened the Tea Party’s eyes to the potential he has to beat out this particular group of candidates.”

In a head-to-head, Gaddafi beats Perry by 16% and would also likely win Bachmann and Lionel Richie fans.

Perry on the other hand, wins Huntsman and Gingrich fans.  Gingrich would win fans of the Pillsbury Dough Boy should the glutenous mass decide not to run.

Tea Party member Moira Glendale was surprised to learn the embattled despot had not actually declared his candidacy, but defended her vote:  “I think he should run.  We know he hates Obama so he has that going for him,” she said.

“He’s also clearly detached from the reality around him and I think that’s something us Tea Partyers are looking for in a candidate right now.”

Addressing the issue of Gaddafi not being born in the United States, Mrs Glendale said if it wasn’t a problem for the current president it shouldn’t be one for the next one.

Backing a winner

Should Gaddafi choose to declare, he can be expected to participate in future debates.  Organisers are already anticipating extending the allotted time to allow for additional incoherent speech, and will also hire a translator to translate Gaddafi’s native Arabic to English, and from English to English that made sense.

Despite Tea Party support, there remain serious doubts over Muammar Gaddafi’s chances against the incumbent, “because it’s not like being a Libyan dictator,” warned Goodman.

“You can’t just come out waving firearms around or shouting whatever nonsensical ramblings are in your head with no thought to facts.  This is different.”

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