ETHIOPIA – The UK government have warned that a “country-wide” hosepipe ban could be enforced across parts of East Africa in the face of the region’s worst drought for decades.
Water conservationist Chris Matthews said the country was facing weather that had not been this dry since the early days of the universe when the Earth was “much much closer to the sun,” and advised that the use of hosepipes may soon be heavily restricted.
“It’s what we in England do when it gets hot, and frankly if it’s good enough for us it should work here too.”
National emergency
With no rain forecast for the next three months, the growing crisis has prompted calls for governments in Ethiopia, Kenya and Somalia to mandate better management procedures to help cope throughout the summer.
“This is a situation that requires everyone to cut back on those things we all take for granted,” declared Prime Minister David Cameron. “Things like watering the lawn, washing the car and installing a second water fixture -you know, the things we take for granted.”
Experts say a hosepipe ban was inevitable and Mr Cameron also suggested those caught ignoring the ban be fined up to £1000 to help indicate the severity of the situation to those in the county.
“No one wanted it to come to this,” he claimed, “but we all have to make sacrifices.”
‘Every drop counts’
Criticising was he saw as wasteful practises, Mr Matthews remarked: “Do we really to throw water out after washing seven children? Why not nine? Such a terrible waste of resources.”
He called for the people of Ethiopia to start thinking seriously about water conservation and begin the steps of proper water management during the drought.
“We’re looking for people to pull up their socks and stop looking so glum all the time – To be fair, the water here looks like it’s been reused at least a dozen times, so maybe they are paying attention.”
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