Ken Clarke Defends Homeless Man After Killing Spree

ENGLAND – Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has defended a homeless man’s right to defence after going on a killing spree inside his street corner home.

In a police report, Charles Sherman – 38 – is said to have taken a ‘shank’ to three individuals claimed to have entered his home in what he judged to be multiple burglary attempts.

Mr Clarke maintained no criminal offence has been committed after clarifying the law on self-defence of the home, declaring that Mr Sherman was entitled to use “whatever force necessary” to protect his possessions.

Though he had never heard of Ken Clarke, Mr Sherman said he was glad to hear of the ruling after successfully defending ‘me things’ from potential theft.

Reasonable force

Under the terms of the 2008 Criminal Justice and Immigration Act, homeowners who use “reasonable force” to protect themselves against intruders should not be prosecuted, “so I don’t see what the issue is here?” argued Clarke.

“What were they doing in this man’s home anyway?  Just passing by? I’m not buying it.”

Weighing in on the debate, Prime Minister David Cameron said it was beyond doubt that the homeless man used reasonable force to defend himself and should not be prosecuted.

“We make it quite clear you can hit the burglar with the poker or stab them with an improvised shiv and you have the perfect defence that will hold up in court,” he said.

No surrender

Despite the explanation from government, some remained confused over where the self-defence line was drawn – but Mr Clarke was unequivocal:

“Everyone knows the rules on the street.  If a person moves within three feet of your living space and fails to heed your expletive warnings, then they can be deemed a threat and rightfully shanked.”

“Nobody should prosecute and nobody should ever convict anybody who takes those steps.”

Charles Sherman said he was just pleased to make it through another day and asked if anyone could lend him 50p for food.

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