DOWNING STREET – The UK and Chinese governments have announced a record £1.4 billion trade deal that will see an increase in the flow of counterfeit goods and cheap crap into Britain.
The deal, announced during premier Wen Jiabao’s recent visit to Britain, will see the China continue taking British jobs and in turn will ratchet up it’s ability to mass produce imitation brand goods – pushing increasing amounts of fake handbags, fake watches and fakes electronic to the UK shores over the next 5 years.
Fast-growing China is the world’s largest creator of cheap crap and the UK represents one of it’s biggest customers.
Circle of shelf life
In a joint conference held outside of Downing Street, both leaders hailed the deal as imperative to their respective economies.
“This is a landmark moment,” boasted Mr Cameron. “Both side come out true winners. China get our jobs and we get the latest in products hazardous to humans months before anyone else has a chance to raise a health scare over them.”
Jiabao said about working with the British economy: “We should deepen mutual understanding through communication, increase mutual trust through dialogue and expand common ground through these knock-off Gucci handbags.”
The deal was also praised by shady street vendors whose business will surely boom on the news that will also affect others including Gucci, Rolex, and Apple.
“Whatever you use we make cheap knock-off,” beamed Wen Jiabao who offered a gift of counterfeit DVDs to David Cameron to seal the deal.
Insider sources also revealed that Mr Cameron had tried to offer Nick Clegg as part of the trade deal, but was refused as China claimed they already had an abundance of useless crap lying around.
Made in China
Public service workers were also positive on following the landmark agreement.
“Hey sometimes you can’t afford that Luis Vitton bag, not on this government cheque,” said civil servant David Patterson. “My wife won’t know the difference anyway.”
Mr Wen, who is on a three-day visit to the UK, has already said he can’t wait to offload more poor quality merchandising on UK shores.
“I am very very happy with deal,” he said. “We make too much crap so we give to you for good price. Good deal.”
Leave a Reply