Anthony Weiner Admits To Being Only Democrat With Penis


WASHINGTON DC – US Congressman Anthony Weiner has been forced to admit having a penis despite being a member of the Democratic Party after sending a photo of his crotch on Twitter – but says he will not resign.

The scandal makes Weiner – 46 – the first confirmed Democrat to possess the male genitalia since Bill Clinton, and has caused a huge upset among Washington veterans.

He agreed his actions were “very dumb”, but said he took the action as he knew that confessing to being a Democrat “with some gonads” would have put his role in serious jeopardy.

‘I have failed my constituents’

The news was broken by Conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart who said that for the first time, getting the full facts of a story made him feel inadequate.

US political pundits suggested the disclosure of a penis has ended the Congressman’s hopes of continuing as a Democrat for much longer.

“I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended as part of a joke,” explained a humiliated Mr Weiner.  “Once I realized I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked. I took it down and said that I had been hacked.”

A tearful Mr Weiner told a news conference he was “deeply ashamed of my terrible secret.”  However, he assured observers that having a set of reproductive organs would not affect his inability as a Democrat to get anything done.

“Just because I have it doesn’t mean I have to use it,” argued Weiner before adding:  “I can still do my job as a Democratic congressman and see to it that we continue to fail to impose ourselves against our Republican counterparts.”

Public shame

Fellow Democrats were quick to blast the congressman for breaking the trend of democratic congressmen.

“We’re disappoint to hear the news of course,” said Senator Harry Reid.  “Anthony knows that as a member of the Democratic party he has no excuse for possessing a penis and he assured us that his name was just a humorous but completely untrue coincidence. We feel extremely let down.”

So far, no Democrats have publicly urged Weiner to resign. But House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and other party officials have called for an investigation to determine whether he managed to perform basic legislative duties in any effective manner during his time in Congress.

Some support did come from Secretary of State Hilary Clinton who said it was “nice to see someone around here with a pair bigger than mine.”

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