Michael Bay Charged With Molestation of Transformers Franchise

LOS ANGELES – The county sheriff’s office has issued an arrest warrant for director Michael Bay over accusations of molestation in relation to the Transformers movie franchise.

Although details are sketchy, Bay is alleged to have lured the innocent franchise into a room where he went on to produce the screenplay for Transformers 1 and 2.

Marshall Warren – County Detective – confirmed the investigation by saying: “An arrest warrant for Mr. Bay has been issued on multiple counts of franchise molestation.”

Bail on the warrant is $60 million.

‘He must be stopped’

Prosecutors could be looking at the biggest criminal investigation in Hollywood since George Lucas was charged with multiple cases of rape in connection with the Star Wars franchise – the investigation is ongoing.

The LA County district attorney hoped the charges would be filed against the director “before any more damage is done” and believe they are looking at a serial offender, with the “most damning evidence of the inappropriate interactions this man his having with this franchise”still to come.

Warren says his team will wait until the release of Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon before bringing charges to court for a ‘slam dunk’ case.

“He just keeps coming back for more, doesn’t he know we’re watching him.  We know what he’s doing and it’s time someone put an end to this God dammit.”

Michael Bay himself has denied any wrong doing and insisted that what he and Transformers do is a private matter between two consenting parties of legal age.

Detective Warren remains unconvinced, arguing that consensual or not it did not excuse casting Shia Lebouf or the fact that fight scenes between Transformers “looked a lot like my car was being transformed into a pulsing metal cube.”

“There’s no doubt in my mind something messed up went down.  We all saw Transformers 2.”

‘Not on my watch’

A  spokesman for the Transformers director issued the following statement:

“The outrageous allegations against Michael Bay are false. Michael would never harm a an innocent franchise in any way. These scurrilous and totally unfounded allegations will be proven false in a courtroom.”

As allegations have continued to add up over the years, observers say at the very least, the director has ‘serious questions to answer’.

“That many unnecessary explosions can’t be legal.”

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