Cameron, Clegg Continue Battle Over CD Collection


ENGLAND – David Cameron and Nick Clegg have stepped up the debate ahead of a vote on the best method of organising their joint music collection.

Since the formation of the coalition, both men have expressed ‘clear and polar’ differences on how current and future music purchases should be arranged.

Nick Clegg is calling for the current any-disc-in-any-case system to be replaced by a method based on genre then alphabet, or GA, which he said would be a “much fairer reflection of the breadth of music myself and David now share.”

David Cameron is leading the charge for the existing system that allows him to continue putting CDs into whatever case he happened to come upon first, calling it an “easily understood system that works just fine for me.”

‘Nick is over thinking it’

“Picking an album off the shelf shouldn’t be some mind-bending exercise,” he  said. “I feel in my gut that Nick’s method is just an overly anal waste of time.”

If the PM fails in his bid to win the vote, it could leave him wide open to direct questioning in other areas of decision making such as the cleaning rota and whether to leave the toilet seat up or down.

Though he did acknowledge the current system had it’s flaws, Mr Cameron maintained GA would be too much of a hassle to implement.

“Where GA falls down is when dealing with artists like Madonna.  Her early work could be described as avant garde, but her most recent catalogue is surely more of your standard pop fare.  Under Nick’s system we would have her CDs spread all over the place.  It’s simply unworkable.”

Crucial vote

The debate has become extremely heated in Number 10 with Nick Clegg blasting the any-disc-in-any-case system as ‘flippin annoying’, as album covers could no longer be relied upon to reflect the album you actually wanted.

“It’s been a mess since I got here,” moaned Clegg.  “Just yesterday  I went to listen to Bruce Springsteen and found a copy of Prince’s Greatest Hits inside the case.  This is clearly a shambles and I’m calling on David to be more organised.”

As the vote nears, Cameron continues to question the wisdom of any change: “What about Earth Wind and Fire?  Is that Funk or Disco? How do you tell when Motown stops and Disco begins?  I can’t tell the bloody difference, can Nick?”

Regardless, both insisted their opposing views would not wreck the coalition – a move that would be a damming indictment of the partnership’s changes of maintaining a unified music library.

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