TEXAS – The 40-year rule of the Burger King is believed to be under ‘serious’ threat amid increasing unrest throughout the fast food chain’s restaurants ad drive-thru locations.
Facing allegations of mass corruption, suppressing democracy and charging three times as much for a burger than the take out down the street, the King’s regime is braced for a ‘day of flame-grilled rage with a side of fries’ as mass demonstrations continue at participating stores nationwide.
One man could be seen pointing to a menu, highlighting that “the milkshake here costs three dollars but only a buck seventy-nine over at In-n-Out…if that’s not corrupt, you tell me what is.”
Earlier today, restaurant staff clashed with protesters at a Texas branch as the King attempts to crack down on anti-regime protests. This after an appeal for dialogue was rejected by those demanding to be able to feed their families for a ‘reasonable price’.
Have it your way
“A Triple Whopper meal costs eight bucks?! We’re not made of money God dammit… Death to the king!” – just one of many defiant voices heard over the drive-thru intercom.
The State Department has warned against all non-essential travel to Burger King as a local hospital told Human Rights Watch that 167 people were admitted from nearby restaurants, but noted a third of those could have been obesity related cases.
The King has failed to address the ongoing state of emergency directly despite multiple television appearances, instead calling on supporters to taste the flame-broiled, jalapeños and cheddar cheese stuffed Steakhouse sandwich. Elliot Martins, an expert on populace uprisings, says is “completely avoiding the issue.”
In further news of protests, demonstrations are erupting at Kentucky Fried Chicken locations against the reign of Colonel Sanders.
Toppling regimes
Despite explaining the Colonel has been dead for 30 years, cashiers say there was no reasoning with the enraged crowds, after hearing screams of: “If he’s dead, then take his face off the chicken! We want change!”
Mr Martins is convinced that “what we are seeing here is a deep seeded frustration in the status quo that have boiled over to a point it can no longer be put down by these established franchises. This is real.”
He is in no doubt the Burger King’s regime is doomed, and predicts he could hand in his crown even as soon as the current TexMex promotion ends this month where he would then seek exile within the local Jack in the Box.
Lol, maybe the Colonel really fled to Venezuela