Pope Condemns Berlusconi Child-Free Sex Scandal

ROME – Pope Benedict XVI has broken his silence and astonishingly voiced his criticism of Silvio Berlusconi for finding himself embroiled in a sex scandal involving women and not young boys.

His Holiness chose his words carefully as he expressed his disappointment in Italy’s PM, saying that “this was not the kind of sex scandal we expect from those who claim affiliation with the Catholic church. Where are the children at?”

It’s understood that the Pope had previously sought to keep quiet on the matter, but news earlier this week of an additional witness – prostitute Nadia Macri – has led Benedict XVI unable to contain his outrage.

“My priests tell me there has been another woman? And she is 28?! No, no, no…this is too too old.”

Breaking tradition

Milan prosecutors have placed the prime minister under investigation citing allegations of indecent relations with a string of women including women including a 17-year-old girl.

Although below the legal age for consensual sex in Italy, sources close to the Pope have said he believed that was still “way too old to be engaging in hanky panky with.”

The Pope’s words echoed those of a senior Vatican official who said the issue was troubling because there was not a single child in sight.

Cardinal Taricisio Bertone said earlier that those in authority should show a ‘more robust morality’ by only involving oneself in sex scandals that include children under the legal age to drink, vote or apply for a line of credit. Anything else would “not be befitting of the institution we know and escape prosecution in.”

Indecent example

Pope Benedict XVI told an audience of police officers that public officials must “rediscover their spiritual and moral roots,” questioning the wisdom of ‘paying for it’ when there were plenty of eligible youngsters around if he just looked hard enough.

Indeed, more than one catholic priests has called on Italy’s leader to spend more time in church where he would find there are plenty of ‘more suitale’ candidates to disgrace himself with.

Although Silvio Berlusconi highlighted that he was doing his best to cover up the matter in church tradition, he expressed regret he had failed to live up to the exemplary example set by others in the Pope’s inner circle, adding that the 17-year-old girl was the closest he could come to a 10-year-old school boy.

“I like women more than boys…or my political integrity. I can’t help myself.”

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