David Cameron Put On Waiting List For NHS Reform

ENGLAND – David Cameron has been placed on a waiting and will likely have to wait ‘at least 6 to 8 months’ to see someone about reforming Britain’s inefficient healthcare system.

Earlier this week, the Prime Minister announced his intention to urgently put in place crucial reforms that would improve the service, citing the need to act ‘sooner rather than later’.  However, NHS bosses now expect wait time to push that plan to ‘later rather than sooner’ as the institution works through a backlog of people wanting to implement substantial changes to the system.

‘Please wait your turn’

“We get this a lot we do,” a nurse said.  “It seems that everyone and their dog comes in complaining about this change or that change, but I told David like I tell everybody with the same sad story…there’s a line of people with problems just as ‘urgent’ as yours so sit down and wait patiently until you are seen.”

The coalition leader is thought to be behind a string of leaders who have previously all put in appointments to improve the national service that has fallen behind among it’s European peers, including Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, and ‘90s leader John Major.

Former Conservative leader Margaret Thatcher was also on the waiting list for reform until recently, when she decided to give up her place in the line ‘and get on with the rest of my life’.

It’s expected that Mr Cameron will be able to see someone in 6 to 8 months, when he’ll then likely be directed to the correct person he needs to see and placed on another waiting in his bid to overhaul the system.

Inefficient system

Public sector unions had warned of the major wait times he would likely face, but the Prime Minister said that there was no easy option, admitting though that it was frustrating to have so many hypochondriacs and drug addicts come after him yet be seen ahead of him.

Even still, he remained optimistic he would be attended to in good time: “They told me it wouldn’t be too long now and we can really get some change going.  I’ve got my ticket so we’ll just see how it goes,” he decided.  “Who knows, maybe someone won’t show up and I’ll be bumped up the list.”

“This is a problem I will not shy away from…I just wish they’d get some up to date magazines in here.”

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