Blair Tells Iraq Inquiry: “I Stuck My Fingers In My Ears”

ENGLAND – Tony Blair has told an Iraq inquiry that he disregarded warnings attacking Iraq would be illegal without further UN backing, because he had stuck his fingers in his ears ‘before Lord Goldsmith could finish his sentence’.

The ex-PM had believed his top legal officer would have taken the hint that he didn’t want to know whether a second UN resolution was needed once he started screaming in monotone.

Lord Goldsmith already confessed to being “uncomfortable” about Mr Blair’s conduct before the conflict.

Legality concerns

On January 14, 2003,  Mr Blair was told UN Security Council resolution 1441, which declared Iraq in “material breach” of its obligations to disarm, was not enough on its own to justify the use of force against Iraq.

Lord Goldsmith then described how he was cut off from completing his sentence when Mr Blair “jammed both fingers into his ears and began crying out a shrill rendition of Ricky Martin’s Living La Vida Loca…It was all heavily perplexing.”

Mr Blair said in a statement to the inquiry: “I had not yet got to the stage of a rolling on the floor nor did I think it was necessary at that stage as I thought he had got the message.”

At the hearing, he looked to be struggling to understand there was confusion over his defense for not ignoring multiple warnings to aid US forces in toppling Saddam Hussein.

“I don’t know about you but where I come from that clearly indicates that one does not wish to hear what the other is saying.”

Questionable explanation

To clarify his point, he held both index fingers in his right and left ears to demonstrate how one could drown out the sound of rational advice from those around him.

“As you can see,” he shouted to the assembled committee, “I can’t hear a word, so there’s no way I could have been informed that we did not have the legal or moral authority to invade Iraq on the basis of such flimsy evidence.”

His defence is causing much debate among political analysts who the soundness of the See No Evil, Hear No Evil approach taken by Mr Blair in the lead up to the invasion.

“It’s a solid argument the inquiry now has to consider,” said Gerald Kean.

“I used that same defense one time when I was 10 and the other kids tried telling me the girl I liked had cooties.”

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