JLS Star Denies M&M ‘Greed’ Allegations After U-Turn

ENGLAND – JLS superstar Aston Merrygold has defended himself against allegations he is ‘only in it for the M&Ms’ after a shocking u-turn just days after indicating he would quit the group.  The lead singer and part time Brylcreem model sent shockwaves across teenage bedrooms last week when a spokesman for label Sony BMG confirmed he was unhappy with the ambition of JLS, questioning the group’s ability to appeal to 13 year old girls.

However, rumors immediately began circulating over his true motivations with reports suggesting Merrygold wanted more green M&Ms in his dressing room after rehearsals.  Known for having a soft spot for the green coloured variant of the chocolate candy, the news that he was holding out for a record six bowls did not go down well with former X Factor contestants.

Previous X Factor winner Leona Lewis was sympathetic to Merrygold’s concerns, but also questioned the motives behind the timing.  “He’s obviously looking at up and coming talent like Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson and wondering whether JLS can continue compete for the affection of young girls.”

‘No one is bigger than JLS’

Aston Merrygold ended the drama over his future by signing a new three album deal worth six bowls of green M&Ms and a Snickers bar after each rehearsal session.  He also allegations he was motivated purely by green M&Ms, reiterating his desire to continue “putting out hot but family friendly pop tracks.”

“I spoke with Sony and they assured me there would be sufficient tracks made available to continue infatuating young girls for years to come.  This was never about the candy.”

Alexandra Burke – winner of series five – was less forgiving, criticising what she called a candy driven culture in today’s X Factor artists: “There’s no loyalty in manufactured pop music anymore.  Aston needs to remember what this is all about:  Making his label lots and lots of money.  M&Ms are just a tasty bonus.”

It remains to be seen whether fans will overcome the sense of betrayal despite the change of heart.  “How can one person eat so many M&Ms in one go anyway?!” questioned one fan.  “I get one pack of M&Ms in my school lunch and that’s plenty for me.  Some people are just greedy!”

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.