President Obama Condemns Harry Potter Book Burning


WASHINGTON – US President Barack Obama called plans for a group of Percy Jackson fans to burn books from rival children’s fiction series Harry Potter ‘dangerous and inflammatory’.

Mr Obama made the statement after the group of ‘Harry Potter haters’ decided to protest the November 19th release of the latest film and ‘send a message to Hogwarts’.

Group leader Nicolas Richards, 37, declared “we’ve had seven books and six films…enough is enough!”

Ideological warfare

Richards said his plan to burn the children’s books were intended to draw attention to his belief that the Percy Jackson books were “incompatible with the trash JK Rowling writes.”

Potterheads demand the cannon be treated with the utmost respect. Any intentional damage or show of disrespect to the literary works or theatrical adaptations is deeply offensive to them.

“These guys are crazy, we shouldn’t provoke them” warned the president in an address from the White House library.

Thousands of Potterheads have already taken to the streets, resulting in three shootings outside a Barnes & Noble when protests turned violent.

Your book sucks

The group’s demonstration triggered a chorus of international criticism with Pakistan president and known Potterhead Asif Zardari claiming “anyone who even thought of such a despicable act must be suffering from a diseased mind and a sickly soul.”

Downing Street also condemned any attempt to offend a group of ‘hardcore Harry Potter nutters’. Ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair urged people to at least read the Philosopher’s Stone, “and see if it grows on you.”

Having already been accused of overreacting to what are essentially the same books about nondescript teenagers with magical powers, many echo Mr Blair’s calls to actually read the book.

However, the group declined and will continue with the burning on the movie’s release, insisting ‘we don’t need to read Harry Potter to oppose everything it stands for.’

5 Comments For This Post

  1. Merrie Lipe Says:

    what a good understand.

  2. Michael York Says:

    I can’t believe this. I love Obama. Does this mean I should shoot myself?

  3. Chief Correspondent Says:

    I try not to hold it against him, it’s not the worse stance he’s made (it is up there though).

  4. Josiah Mcphee Says:

    Yes, I understand.

  5. Josiah Mcphee Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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