Taliban Soldiers Call For Medal of Honor Ban

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – Leading members of the Taliban have launched a scathing attack on the upcoming Medal of Honor game which forces players to shoot Afghan terrorists over a number of realistic levels. It’s the single player campaign that has caused so much controversy as it sees players take control of US soldiers throughout the entire game, indiscriminately gunning down alleged Taliban operatives.

“It’s shocking that someone would think it acceptable to recreate the acts of American and British soldiers.  This game is thoroughly un-Afghan, I urge our lone retailer to show support for insurgent forces and ban this tasteless product.” was the response from Minister of Foreign Affairs Abdul Muttawakil.

“And why do we all look the same?!” he questioned after al-Jazeera aired footage of Taliban soldiers being shot and killed only to be replaced with an identical looking soldiers seconds later. “The Americans all look rugged and handsome.  Do they think we all look alike?  That’s racist. Our lawyers will hear about this so help me Allah.”

Too soon

With the Taliban still locked in guerrilla warfare with troops from the United States and Britain, many Afghan civilians believe the game is ill-timed, but publishers EA say they’ve already waited nine years and can’t put the release off for another decade.

The debate has been compared to continued Nazi outcry over a slew of WWII games in which players are encouraged to mow down soldiers of Hitler’s regime.  “It’s highly insensitive to keep reminding us we lost the war. We get it already!”

EA have no plans to change the game despite backlash and threats of suicide bombing. “Someone has to play the good guys.” said a spokesperson for the company. “The Taliban are the ones waging war on us.  If they don’t like it, write to our customer complaints department.”

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