NEW YORK, NY – Nickelodeon have been forced to cancel ‘mega hit’ TV show SpongeBob Squarepants after its star was found dead in his pineapple home under the sea off the Gulf Coast.
The show, both a critical and commercial success, propelled SpongeBob to one of the most successful merchandising forces and the highest earning sponge in non TV revenues alone. He is survived by Gary the sea snail.
“He led the way in children’s entertainment…I can’t believe he’s gone…there will never be another as absorbent and yellow and porous as he” said Nickelodeon spokesman David Bittler at the star’s wake on the Crusty Crab set.
The ceremony was attended by children’s TV A-listers such as 25-year-old Tommy and Chukie of Rugrats fame, and Elmo. “No more SpongeBob? Elmo sad,” confessed the Sesame Street mogul.
Although cause of death cannot be confirmed before a full autopsy, crime scene investigators believe SpongeBob died from acute oil poisoning.
This accusation is sure to bring more public anger toward oil giant BP, responsible for the unstoppable flow of crude oil into the sea above the star’s home.
Tony Hayward has been quick to play down links between his company and the sponge’s death. “We can’t jump to conclusions, it might not be the oil. Let’s wait for the autopsy” he pleaded to fans protesting outside his office.
The BP chief has received up to 6,000 death threats from children aged 5-13.
Patrick Star led tributes to the joyful sponge who was taken “before his time”. However, on screen adversary Squidward was seen cackling whilst performing somersaults around the Squarepants residence.
It was rumoured that the pair’s animosity had spilled off-set, but Mr Star assured fans they were the best of friends “I know Squidward’s hurting inside. Some people just grieve in their own way”.