BP Scramble To Protect Endangered Reputation

NEW ORLEANS, LA – BP CEO Tony Hayward has promised to pump millions of dollars to avoid the company’s fragile reputation being wiped out due to continuous negative coverage of the Gulf Coast oil spill. 

BP have been placed on the endangered brands list, joining such at risk names as Toyota and MySpace, yet to show any sign of leaving the list.

“I want to underscore our commitment to doing everything possible to minimize the impact of this negative press” replied Mr Hayward when it was suggested he hadn’t taken the situation seriously enough, “No expense will be spared, let me tell you. We’re fully committed to making sure people forget this whole ever thing happened.”

Since the leak that started the outpouring of negative reporting, at least 491 sales meetings, 227 TV spots and 27 commercial deals, including a tie-in with Burger King, have been cancelled.

Marketing experts are calling this the worst PR disaster to hit the US in years with BP’s stock price already plunging after earlier PR efforts failed.

“OK, so maybe offering free oil changes was a mistake” admitted Hayward. “We still have plenty of ideas left in the tank”, these are thought to include a benefit concert with Bono for orphans in the coming weeks.

BP have been criticised for doing ‘too little too late’, with leading executives claiming not nearly enough is being done to repair the damage to the oil giant’s reputation.

“This is looking like the biggest freaking oil spill the country has ever seen…They could at least drop cash from a blimp or something” commented Richard Branson.

While the true scale of the damage won’t be known for years, Mr Hayward remained confident the company’s reputation can be repaired, saying BP could always make an advert with Tom Hanks ‘if things got really bad’.

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