Cameron Promises to Be ‘Exact Opposite’ to Labour

MANCHESTER, UK – David Cameron has reiterated his commitment to doing the ‘complete opposite of whatever Labour does’ after the first televised debate between party leaders in the UK. Mr Cameron used the TV debate to emphasise this policy by moving to stand on the opposite side of the rooom to Gordon Brown in the middle of the debate. “We call it the 180 degree manifesto, in that whatever Labour does we will do the complete 180. They move left, we go right. They hate Marmite? Then you better believe we love the stuff.”

The Tory leader highlighted the Conservatives consistent record of doing the opposite Labour, pointing to the fact that while Labour have been in power, the Conservatives have not as an example.  A section of political observers have remained critical of Cameron after a recent political gaffe and question whether he will actually follow through with his talk. “Look at my socks” challenged Cameron. “Do you think Gordon Brown would wear socks like these? This is the kind of change I will bring to the country if elected.” [Chief Editor: Cameron later changed his socks after discovering Gordon Brown was in fact wearing the same pair]

When asked how he would address the growing budget deficit, Cameron replied “Well, what’s Labour doing about it?” before adding that he would raise taxes if Labour was lowering them, but wouldn’t hesitate to lower them if Labour was raising them. “We know the British people want change and we will give them that by doing the exact opposite to Labour and Gordon Brown simply cannot do that, it’s against the law of physics.”

Nick Clegg, the leader of the Liberal Democrats was also on hand to outline how the Liberal Democrats would be different from Labour, but no one was listening.

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