Earth’s nearest neighbour is now scene of America’s fight against terrorism and search for Osama Bin Laden as the Obama administration invaded the moon last week. It is believed that while no direct threat was made by the moon or it’s inhabitants, new evidence has suggested that the satellite may be providing a safe breeding ground for Islamic militants and could even be used as a hiding place for Osama Bin Laden. US press secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters that President Obama and his military advisers deemed it a just war as “the possibility of moon men forming alliances with al-Qaeda was too big of a risk to ignore”.
Our correspondent has more on the new front of the war of terror.
[Chief Correspondent] Vicky, explain this twist in the war on terror?
[Terror Correspondent] Err…it’s no longer the “war on terror”.
[Chief Correspondent] Oh of course. It was recently re-branded the “Overseas Contingency Operation”?
[Terror Correspondent] Yes, but it has now been re-re-branded the “Interplanetary Counter-Active Extremist Prevention Operation” in light of this new intergalactic threat.
[Chief Correspondent] Let me just take a note of that. “Interplanetary Counter…”
[Terror Correspondent] “Interplanetary Counter-Active Extremist Prevention Operation”. Rolls of the tongue.
[Chief Correspondent] What led the Obama administration to act now?
[Terror Correspondent] Osama Bin Laden is thought to have found sanctuary on the celestial body and is probably planning further attacks on US soil only 8 years after masterminding 9/11.
[Chief Correspondent] Are we–how can we be sure of this?
[Terror Correspondent] A recent video of appeared to show the number one terrorist broadcasting from the surface of the moon…There was also some evidence of moon men.
[Chief Correspondent] Bin laden has made contact with moon men?
[Terror Correspondent] We can’t be certain, but the working theory is that he has formed an alliance with the people of the moon and is actively recruiting to form new moon based Islamic terror cells.
[Chief Correspondent] Unpatriotic critics will say that with two ongoing wars, each with no end in sight and the threat of conflict with Iran, the US cannot justify a military strike on another sovereign state whether on this planet or not. How is Obama justifying this military exercise?
[Terror Correspondent] …Terrorism? Bin laden? Hellooo…What more evidence does the man need to launch a full blown invasion. We could invade an old folks home with this kind of evidence.
[Chief Correspondent] But the financial expenditure required to fund such an incursion must be especially brutal when you consider the multi billion dollar, ongoing costs of both Iraq and Afghanistan wars, not to mention the state of the economy?
[Terror Correspondent] …Make no mistake. If this moon threat is real, and there is no evidence to suggest otherwise, it’s only a matter of time before Bin Laden and his moon men bring there brand of moon terrorism to our streets. It’ll be 9/11 all over again but with UFOs…which means that only the most recluse farmers will see, but the aftermath will be clear to all.
[Chief Correspondent] And President Obama is certain that Bin laden is hiding on the moon?
[Terror Correspondent] We’ve looked everywhere for this guy; Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq…Afghanistan again. Where else could he be?
[Chief Correspondent] Is there a coherent strategy going into this new conflict?
[Terror Correspondent] Once the presence of moon men has been confirmed, our troops will first look to topple the current moon regime before subjugating the moon people. Once that’s done they can begin the hunt for Bin Laden.
[Terror Correspondent] Largely desolate. The conditions there are typical of countries that harbour terrorists: vast, dry mountainous areas largely devoid of anything resembling human life.
[Chief Correspondent] How will Obama fund this operation given the state of the economy?
[Terror Correspondent] Moon Cheese Chief. Moon Cheese.
[Chief Correspondent] Moon Cheese?
[Terror Correspondent] The Moon is the galaxy’s biggest supplier of Moon Cheese and this stuff is worth more than Oil and Opium combined.
[Chief Correspondent] It sounds as though the administration has given a lot of thought before acting?
[Terror Correspondent] Much has been learnt from past experiences. This plan has been mapped out to the finest detail. From where the first strike took place to how we’ll enforce democracy on the moon, nothing has been left to chance.
[Chief Correspondent] It’s been a week since first contact. How long till Bin Laden is caught?
[Terror Correspondent] The moon’s not that big. I’m told two…maybe three weeks tops till the mission is accomplished.
[Chief Correspondent] Catching Bin Laden and bringing democracy to the moon. Mission accomplished indeed. Thanks Vicky.
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