Pakistan has scrapped plans of a peace deal with civilians in the north west region of Swat Valley, in an effort to protect the country from domestic threats. US officials are said to be delighted that Pakistan was finally “getting off their asses and blasting some Arabs”. Tensions between the two countries have risen as the feeling from the White House is that Pakistan has not been shouldering its weight in the ongoing war on civilians in the Af–Pak area. Pakistan has begun to fight its image as soft on innocent people by launching a series of strikes on a number of targets, including an orphanage, that has seen large numbers of civilians killed and hundreds of thousands displaced. There have also been unconfirmed reports that Taliban militants may have been killed accidently in the raids. Despite this however, Pakistan officials are said to be happy with the overall improvement in stats. I spoke briefly with our correspondent in the region, Omar Bashir.
[Chief Editor] Omar, is Pakistan now finally winning the war on civilians after these attacks?
[Middle East Correspondent] It would be, except this isn’t a war on civilians.
[Chief Editor] It’s not?
[Middle East Correspondent] No. It’s supposed to be an offensive against Taliban militants in the area.
[Chief Editor] Really? Then why are so many locals being targeted?
[Middle East Correspondent] That’s the tricky part. Taliban militants, or “Talibants” – as I like to call them – often take shelter in these rural areas and it can be difficult to tell one Arab from the next. Better to bomb the whole area and be sure.
[Chief Editor] That makes sense. So how many militants have been killed?
[Middle East Correspondent] We’re not sure. The army won’t give us access to the area, but they say it’s somewhere in the region of 200…give or take an Arab or two.
[Chief Editor] That’s far less than the number of innocent people killed and displaced…Have they considered switching the focus to a war on civilians?
[Middle East Correspondent] I think they’re pretty set on this overseas contingency operation, formerly known as the war on terror, formerly known as a fun way to blow something up.
[Chief Editor] So the peace deal was between the militants, not the local people?
[Middle East Correspondent] Right. The government had agreed to allow Sharia law to be enforced in these areas in exchange for a cease fire. This would have allowed ordinary people to stop worrying about the conflict and go back to what they do best…keeping women in the house. It was a good deal.
[Chief Editor] Then what happened?
[Middle East Correspondent] The Pakistani government have a reputation to protect. If they aren’t bombing something every few months, the US get’s pissed and…it just looks bad.
[Chief Editor] I’m sure it looks a lot better now?
[Middle East Correspondent] Indeed. The government has said it hopes to destroy the terrorist threat, and maybe kill a few innocent people to, quote “show we mean business”, end quote.
[Chief Editor] I imagine the White House is pleased with the actions of the Pakistani government?
[Middle East Correspondent] Definitely. They themselves expect to celebrate these events by sending drones to indiscriminately bomb the same area. This is truly a happy time for all…except for those who actually live here.
[Chief Editor] Sounds great, but you should probably get to a safe location.
[Middle East Correspondent] Easy for you to say…
[Chief Editor] What’s that supposed to mean?
[Middle East Correspondent] I’m just saying. You’re not trapped in the hills of a war zone.
[Chief Editor] Omar, we spoke about this. You’re the only brown guy in the network. You can communicate with the people there.
[Middle East Correspondent] I’m from Brooklyn! I don’t even speak Arab!
[Chief Editor] This isn’t the time to talk about this.
[Middle East Correspondent] It’s never the time…
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