Flu Pandemic Now "Too Big To Fail"


Swine flu continues to spread chaos across the globe, inflicting innocent victims with “mild flu like symptoms” such as “fever” and “fatigue”.  It shows no signs of slowing slowing down.  US President Barack Obama has described the pandemic as being “too big to fail” and is considering ways to tackle the problem, which may include a bailout package, in an effort to slow its destruction of human life.  Public health analysts have gone on record saying the consequences of the pandemic will be so large that our grandchildren will  still require treatment.  This comes after the WHO raised the alert level to 5, one short of a full blown worldwide pandemic.  I talked to our Latin America correspondent who is at the epicentre of the biggest threat to all of humanity.

[Chief Editor] Rick, what’s the situation on the ground like now?

[Latin America Correspondent] You used my name?  What about the court orders?

[Chief Editor] No, we’re clear now.

[Latin America Correspondent] Oh, wow.  Feels like a weight has been lifted, you know.  I’ve been hiding for so long…

[Chief Editor] Err Rick, the conditions?

[Latin America Correspondent] Conditions are terrible, just terrible.  Housing is inferior, infrastructure is almost non-existent, there are poor people everywhere…

[Chief Editor] I was talking about the swine flu?

[Latin America Correspondent] Oh, right.  I guess that’s bad too.  Though its effects seem to be slowing.

[Chief Editor] Are you sure?  We’re at a level 5 pandemic with level 6 imminent.  By all accounts Mexico should now resemble  a scene from Resident Evil?

[Latin America Correspondent] Well there aren’t any zombies, but these guys shuffle around like they have nowhere to go.  Pick up the pace guys!  Vamos!

[Chief Editor] What has the public response been to the virus, now that it has fully taken over the country?

[Latin America Correspondent] The general feeling has turned from one of fear and confusion to jealousy.

[Chief Editor] Jealousy?

[Latin America Correspondent] Yes.  People are annoyed that the virus has been able to cross the border with so little effort.  Mexican scientists are now studying the H1N1 strain for tips.

[Chief Editor] So the virus is still causing problems for the nation?

[Latin America Correspondent] Yes.  President Felipe Calderon has taken the unprecedented step of shutting “non-essential ” services like banks, schools and restaurants for 5 days.  Essential operations like fake ID manufacturers and wig distributors will remain operational.

[Chief Editor] It sounds like despite attempts at calming people, there is still much to be fearful about?

[Latin America Correspondent] Well the virus has spread to 17 countries, confirming rumours that Mexicans do actually turn up in places other than the US border.  But I don’t know, things seem under control here.

[Chief Editor] But like you said.  It’s in 17 countries and we’re lead to believe will spread further.  The WHO and pharmaceuticals companies are eagerly anticipating more deaths.

[Latin America Correspondent] That’s true.  So I guess were not out of it yet.  I’m just glad to get on a plane out of this hell hole.

[Chief Editor] Um, we didn’t get you a return ticket.  I thought we agreed this interview would be your last.  Why else would you go to Mexico?

[Latin America Correspondent] No way man.  You’ve got to do something!  I don’t want to die.

[Chief Editor] Calm down, we’ll get you out.  Sit tight, get plenty of vitamin D…and make sure you wash up before you get back to the studio.

 

Image source:  www.huffingtonpost.com

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